Who’s Next?

January 21, 2010

Now that a Republican is going to be sitting in the Senate seat that’s been held by a Kennedy since 1952 everyone is wondering.

Is this a sign of what’s to come in 2010?

It makes you think,

Who’s next?

How about Kirsten Gillibrand!

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(Advisory: The following is a satirical piece. Satire is a form of humor. And as many of you know humor is a difficult concept for Vulcans and some humans.  So please understand the following is a work of fiction not to be taken seriously -FOR NOW.)

WASHINGTON- In a rare show of bipartisanship the Senate with one member absent voted unanimously 99-0 to expel The City of Schenectady NY from the United States of America.

The bill declares: “The City of Schenectady New York is no longer considered a part of The United States.”

Even New York’s own Chuck Schumer approved the measure saying “This city is an embarrassment to the rest of the union.  People say we in Congress are incompetent, they haven’t seen the way this city is run.”

Meanwhile the other New York Senator Kirstin Gillibrand, was the lone absentee.  Gillibrand was in Sweden attending a conference for people who believe their bodies have been taken over by space aliens.

[picapp src=”2/b/6/c/NY_Gov_Paterson_6ff0.jpg?adImageId=5635299&imageId=3708121″ width=”500″ height=”327″ /]

As for how the House may vote speaker Nancy Pelosi weighed with this comment : ” Well you know (SNIFF) Schenectady is a native American word, and (SNIFF) we all know how Native Americans have been treated in this country.  (SNIFF)It looks like they’re getting the shaft again because we may have to vote with the Senate on this one.”

The president’s press secretary has already stated the president may sign the measure but as he put it,

“First he wants to make a speech on Schenectady’s public access channel hoping the president’s speech making powers will turn the city around.  However, even God has his limitations.”

Meanwhile an unnamed United Nations official has stated as soon as the resolution is passed the UN will declare Schenectady a third world country and send aide to the besieged city.

As for official reaction from the Schenectady School Board or their police department they were unavailable for comment.  Rumor has it they were in a back room somewhere, smoking police confiscated crack and shredding documents.

As for the public’s reaction one resident said, “We’re finally getting the help we need!”

“At last real hope and change,” said another.

There you have it folks, my city is now a third world country.-Back to you Bill.

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Yellow Dog For Senate

September 25, 2009

ALBANY, NEW YORK - JANUARY 23:  U.S. Rep. Kirs...
Image by Getty Images via Daylife

It didn’t take long for the opposition to fall apart. People are already getting super nit picky about who they want to run against Obama in 2012. Granted, part of it is just the natural vetting process, but I’m already seeing signs that people might just sit out 2012 like they did in 2008.

No! No! No!

To make matters worse, there’s Glenn Beck and Company getting ready to form their own alternative party.  They claim  Republicans are just as bad as the democrats.

No! No! No!

We’ve been down this road before.  Remember, those who forget their history are condemned to repeat it.

In 1992 Ross Perot’s strong third party showing stole votes from President George Bush Sr. That gave us eight years of Bill Clinton, the man who let OBL slip through his hands because he was too distracted by scandals in his personal life.

We need to resolve here and now to stand behind whoever the GOP nominee is.  The stakes are way too high this time to look for the perfect candidate.

That goes double for next year’s mid term election.  As much as we dislike people we refer to as “RINO‘s”, this time they might have just enough Republican left in them to turn the tide.  And that’s what we so desperately need right now.

Yes I know how people here in New York, are grumbling about names like George Pataki and Rudy as being has beens.  I agree.

It would be nice to see some new faces too.  But going against what we’ve got now,

Ms. “I love ACORN,” Kirsten Gillibrand,

I’ll gladly vote for a yellow dog over her ,

any day!

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Help! My State Is In Trouble!

September 16, 2009

Kirsten Gillibrand
Image by Freedom To Marry via Flickr

Help! New York State is being represented by a pinhead.  The Senate voted to strip funding from ACORN.  Only seven voted against it.  One of the seven was pinhead senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY).


(At first I was going to call her an “airhead” but that might be taken as sexist.  After all, with people putting words in Congressman Joe Wilson’s mouth and accusing him of being racist it’s best not to take chances.  So that’s when I decided to go with “Pinhead.”)

From Caffeinated Thoughts . . .

“Senator Mike Johanns (R-NE) introduced an amendment to the HUD and Transportation appropriation bill to strip ACORN of all federal funding.  A week ago, Johanns wouldn’t have gotten the amendment to the floor.  Today, however, after three straight days of BigGovernment.com’s video exposés of ACORN offices in Washington DC, New York City, and Baltimore offering assistance to pimping, tax evasion, and trafficking in underage Salvadorean girls, Johanns not only got his vote — but he got an impressive bipartisan showing.  The Senate passed the Johanns amendment 83-7.”

So what was my senator’s problem with cutting off funding for an organization willing to fund a prostitution ring where underage undocumented girls will be sex workers.

It makes me wonder what would have happened if the undercover reporters from Big Government dot Com had mentioned they wanted to promote the Salvadoran girls with their own website?  It would have been just another confirmation of the kind of people we’re dealing with.

Might Gilibrand’s no vote have anything to do with ACORN endorsing her future run for the senate back in June?  This from CQ politics,


Another liberal group came out in support of Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand’s 2010 Senate bid on Tuesday, though this one could cut both ways with voters.

The Association of Community Organizers for Reform Now Political Action Committee, also known as ACORN, endorsed Gillibrand for New York Senate, calling her “a leader who will always fight for those who have been pushed to the brink in this economic crisis.”

To think even Chuck Schumer voted for this bill.  That means Senator Pinhead is so liberal she makes Hillary Clinton look like Ronald Reagan.

Perhaps on the bright side this just might be the thing that gets New York Republicans to get their heads out of the sand.  With any luck not only might they win a senate seat they might win back some of the house seats they lost in 06 and 08.

If Republicans can’t get it together now, my state is really in trouble!

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